At least I was certain it wasn’t a Wham-O toy; it lacked the ingenuity and simplicity of Wham-O products. They were the best. Mattel was great-swell, even-but they made things like the Thingmaker, items you’d want for Christmas but would forget by New Year’s Day. Wham-O stuff was simple and necessary. Mattel was Microsoft. Wham-O was Apple. The Superball, for example: the card showed a ball bouncing over a house, and that’s what it did. We threw the things on the sidewalk and they would go over the house and probably bounce off Telstar. The Frisbee single-handedly relegated the catcher’s mitt to the closet in millions of American homes. Basic as that was, they still managed to improve on it. (A glow-in-the-dark Frisbee? Man! These guys are geniuses! They’re like the NASA of toys!) Let us not forget Silly String, which paralyzed Mothers everywhere who were convinced that stuff would stick to the shag. I think they also made a foam you could mold into shapes, then explode by clapping your hands. At least they could have. We imagined they had labs full of toys we’d never see, because something had either Gone Horribly Wrong, or because they just didn’t work completely. Like a Superball with a liquid core of the stuff inside of golf balls. It would bounce a mile high, but if the stuff in the center spilled out it would make you blind.
I am pretty sure that James has invited all of us over after each night of the GOP Convention this summer.