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Ghosting for Donald, The Trump Tower Chats, No. 1

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The setting: Donald Trump’s Office, Trump Tower. Monday, June 6, 2016. 4 PM EST.

Donald Trump is seated behind his desk. A single camera feeds the shot to all networks that want to carry it. They all want to carry it.

“Good afternoon. I, of course, am Donald Trump, and this is my office in Manhattan’s most spectacular high rise, the Trump Tower. Some people say it is the most spectacular building in the world, and they might be right. They might be right. But this is the office I have occupied for years and years, building a great organization, a great team, a great family. Now I’ve built a great campaign, and seven months from now I am going to begin rebuilding a great country with your help and of course subject to the laws and of course the Constitution.

“People joke that I use superlatives a lot. A lot. And I do. They communicate passion and conviction and I have great passions as and great convictions. I am passionate about this country becoming great again. I am convicted —convicted— that we have the greatest Constitution ever created. I love the country. I love the Constitution. That’s why I started this race.

“A lot of people, a LOT of people, think I started this race for publicity. Like I needed publicity. Anyway, I didn’t. I started it to win. I win. And I am going to win this race, not for a trophy, or a profit. It is costing me a fortune, in fact, and it is subjecting me to attacks and threats like you have never seen, stuff you wouldn’t believe. People who know me, who have known me a long time, say ‘Donald, what are you nuts, you don’t need this?’ Great people, too. Accomplished people. The biggest people in the media. I know them all. They say this to me. ‘What are you nuts? The liberal media will tear you apart.’ But I tell them, ‘I love the country. I want the country to thrive again. To grow again.’ I’ve said this my whole life, by the way. My whole life: This country, these American people, deserve so much more than this government has been giving them since the ’60s. So much more.

“So I ran. And I am winning. No one thought I could win. I could line up a hundred people on television saying, ‘Trump will never win.’ Smart people —some, not so smart, but you know, smart people too— ‘Trump will never win.’ But I am winning and I am going to win in November. I know this already. This country isn’t going to elect Crooked Hillary. Not happening.

“But, you gotta go in and earn it. You got to make the ask. You have to close the deal. That’s what Art of the Deal was about. That was Trump University. Teaching people how to close the deal. Now I have to close with you, the voters. Especially those who get their information from the networks where the reporters hate me, or the few million —it’s not many, but it’s some— who rely on these very biased newspapers. I need to go over and around them so here I am. I am asking for your vote.

“Now here is the plan. Remember FDR? Well of course you don’t remember FDR, but remember what you read about him? He was so beyond the Republicans of that era. He used radio. I use TV and Twitter. But FDR gave fireside chats. Fire. Side. Chats. That’s what I’m going to do. EveryMonday. From right here. When I am here. Next week I’m going to Scotland, Ireland see my fabulous golf courses. But Mondays when I am in the country, at 4 PM I am going to be right here, talking to you for a half hour. Maybe a little more. Maybe a little less. Right here, until I do it from the Oval Office In January. But I am going to keep doing it, even after I am sworn in. Enough of these presidents who play golf and don’t talk to people. I’m going to tell you each week what I am doing and how Congress is doing and what I think about the Supreme Court, about governors, about newspapers, television, all of it. Maybe the NFL too. I don’t know. But talking to you, that I do know. That’s what presidents should do. That’s what FDR did.

“About the country. Because that’s what we need. Straight talk, not P. C. nonsense. We need action and Congress is going to get to work and if they don’t I’m going to come here and tell you. Agree with me or not, I will be talking to you about them and asking you to make lists and vote accordingly in 2018. All according to the Constitution’s rules. It gives the president the bully pulpit and when I win I am going to use it. Not like President Obama. Not talking down to you. Not smug, like he has anything to be smug about after this disaster of eight years.

“Not down to you. Citizen to citizen. Friends talking. Equals. Like FDR. Like Reagan. Now, why 4 PM? To preempt the afternoon and nightly news of course. Set the agenda for the week, get ahead of the talking heads. Set the table. I had the number one show, remember. I know television. I know how to get ratings and keep ratings and that matters. It matters to the world as well to see an American president who leads. Who spells it out.

“Now, I’m busy, so I’ll use writers to help me. The best writers. I’ll send them some themes. I’ll talk to them. Then they will send me a draft and I’ll mark it up and it will be in the prompter there, but I’m not a prompter guy. Not much. Some, not much, but some. So I’ll go off message some times, and I’ll still have press conferences, and the speeches, have rallies, but this right here, this is the main deal. I’m going to talk to you every week and tell you the truth. The truth. The score. Not what I want you to believe. Not what I wish was going on. But the truth.

“Every week. A fireside chat. Except I can’t have a fireplace or de Blasio would arrest me. Can you believe that guy, with the horses and the whole thing? Anyway, every week. Mark it on your calendars.

“Next time I’m here I’m going to give you a detailed response to Hillary’s ‘Trump’s dangerous, Trump will blow up the world’ schtick. Ridiculous. But today I am setting the stage. Telling you what I’m doing. No man-behind-the-curtain stuff. Just the truth as the Constitution intended it.

“You know Lincoln used to travel around, talk to everyone, off the cuff. Reagan liked to do it to. The Secret Service, and boy are they pros, they don’t like it so much on account of how many nuts there are, and the jihadis and the rest. But presidents who do great things talk to the American people. A lot. A lot. And that’s what I am going to do.

Next week I’m going to take the bark off of Hillary. Talk about her record. Not her server. That’s later. After we hear from the FBI. But next week I’ll explain the mnemonic device ‘Every Liberal Really Seems So Sad.’ Remember that phrase ‘Every Liberal Really Seems So Sad.’ Because it is a memory device, a mnemonic device, to remember Hillary’s record as Secretary of State. A terrible record. Really bad. Believe me but look it up. Egypt. Libya. Russian reset button. Syria. Status of forces agreement. Server.

“‘Every Liberal Really Seems So Sad.'” Because of her record. Her real record. Egypt. Libya. Russia —the reset button remember. Syria. The Status of Forces Agreement she failed to negotiate that destroyed the country of Iraq after we had won the peace at such a great price. And of course her server and the terrible thing it did to national security. Gave away all our secrets. Really. Just gave them away to the Russians. To the Chinese. To the Iranians. No wonder they ate our lunch. They were reading our Secretary of State’s email on everything. On everything! Probably the president’s too if she passed on a virus, a bug. Ask the cyber experts. They have already told us. She was hacked. She was surveiled. Obama didn’t know she had an insecure server. No encryption. Can you imagine? And she wants to be president.

“So that’s next week. This week, my first Trump Tower chat. They will be talking about this for centuries. I’m going over the heads of the networks. Over the papers. Around the reporters. Underneath the talking heads. And this is going to knock Hillary out. Out. And Hillary’s been knocked out before remember. She’s tough but she’s been knocked out before. I’m going to do it this time politically. Finish the Clinton’s off. Last race for them. We are done with them. Grifters. Never built a company. Never made an honest dollar. All from government jobs or grifting. They and their pals. The Foundation. The whole nine yards. Every week I am going to be counter punching

“Let me close here. I love this country. I love the Constitution. I am going to govern according to it. It is a simple document. Must great deals are easy to read. Go and read it. That’s what I am about. The Preamble. And living by those rules. I don’t care about your race. I don’t care about your color, your gender, or who you are dating. I care about America. I love this country. And I am going to ask for your vote every week. I’m going to take on the lies every week, just like FDR did. Remember he said they even lied about his little dog Fala. I don’t have a dog so they lie about everything else. Well, FDR was a New Yorker. So was TR. And like them, this New Yorker isn’t going to take it. See you next week.”


This column was originally posted on


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