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Foxworthy on Ohio

Wednesday, November 2, 2005  |  posted by Hugh Hewitt
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From an e-mail:

Subject: Comedian Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio

You may be from Ohio (pronounced “ah-hi-uh”) if:

You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange.

You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and
construction.

You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.

You know what a “buckeye” really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

“Toward the lake” means “North” and “toward the river” means “South.”

You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.

You know how to correctly spell Cincinnati.

“Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer
hunting in the fall.

You measure distance in minutes.

Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:
“Where’s my coat at?”

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You know what “pop” is.

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.

If someone says something you don’t understand or hear, you say
“Please?”

You call it Krogers even though it is Kroger.

If you actually understand these (and we know you do!).! .. Pass them on to your Ohio friends!

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