There are some pretty strange beasts in the zoo that is American politics, and it takes a distinguished scientist of the caliber of Michael Savage, PhD to explain the taxonomy. For instance, there’s the Howard Dean hyena (Yelpo whackjobbo is its Latinate name), which—as the Doctor describes—is “known for its screeching call that can only be heard by leaning as far left as possible. Those who lean to the right have learned to dismiss it as meaningless babble. A pack animal that always travels with its close relative, the braying donkey, this species is particularly afraid of the elephant.” And there’s the Sean Penn toucan (Idiotti mynorus) and the Barbra Streisand proboscis monkey (Enormo schnozo) and the Al Sharpton albatross (Pompadouro showboatus), which is certainly a bird you don’t see every day…or wish you didn’t.

And lest you think our zookeeper displays creatures only from the left side of the menagerie, there are rare specimens from the right side, too. For instance: the George Bush dwarf elephant (Dumbo disappointus) and the Newt Gingrich weasel (Spinelus caveinien) just to name a couple. After all, it’s not a proper zoo if you don’t have all the beasts together in one place.

In all there are 50—count ’em, 50!—rare and exotic fauna on display in this illustrated zoo, and it’s great fun to browse and listen to the zookeeper’s descriptions of each and every furry, feathered, or scaled beast.

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